she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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