ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
