You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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