Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
