Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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