Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
