i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
