he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
