Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
