i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
