This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
