I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
