i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
