I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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