and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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