hell yes lets make some ravioli
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
