You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
