currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
