i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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