bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
