FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
