pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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