I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
