we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
