Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize