We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
