Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
