were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
