Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize