How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
