Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
