But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
