talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Randomize
