that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
