Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize