Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
