I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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