Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
