Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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