she kept yelling 'call me bella'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
