dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
