Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
