Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
