tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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