I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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