is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
