I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
