I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
