Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
