People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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