we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
