i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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