If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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