capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
