I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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