I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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