he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
