Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize