Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
