my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
