shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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