i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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