the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
