I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
