What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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