i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
