Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
