Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize