It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
