$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
