one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
