I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
