It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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