yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
