We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
