You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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