Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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