Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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