New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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