this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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