Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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