It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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